Colored Lights/Shutterstock My experience of OCDįrom the age of 16, I have also suffered with thoughts that I later came to associate with OCD, but which began as invisible and tormenting. OCD is a multifaceted disorder, yet understanding tends to focus on the visual, compulsive aspect. So, why do the difficulties encountered by Matt, John and Abby – of recognising the internal thoughts that dominate their lives – appear to be so common? Now, she tells me, “I realise that I have no interest in washing my hands – I’m a pretty messy person, and I don’t mind other people being messy.” Rather than a love of cleaning, her acts were related to the altogether scarier obsessional thought: “What if I am going to hurt other people?”Ĭlinical guidelines, such as those provided in the UK by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence, define OCD as being characterised by both compulsions and obsessions. She says people still think of her as “Abby likes to wash her hands a lot”. Abby was able to self-diagnose at the age of 12, when she experienced handwashing and locking door compulsions. I don’t know how you’re supposed to tell someone you don’t know that you have thoughts about killing people you love.Įven for those with “textbook” OCD such as my friend Abby, “the compulsion is just the tip of the iceberg”. He recalled that the GP concentrated more on the visible effects of his distress - a lack of appetite and disrupted sleeping patterns. When John visited his GP, he was diagnosed with depression. Due to mischaracterisations of the disorder, OCD sufferers with non-typical, less visible presentations usually go undiagnosed for ten or more years. People who experience obsessional thoughts are therefore frequently unable to identify their symptoms as OCD – and neither, very often, are the experts they see in clinical settings. And that obsessions – defined as “ unwanted, unpleasant thoughts” often of a harmful, sexual or blasphemous nature – are viewed as obscure, confusing and unrecognisable as OCD. First, that the stereotype of OCD is one of washing and checking behaviours – the compulsions aspect, defined clinically as “repetitive behaviours that a person feels driven to perform”. Try as I might, I just couldn’t chase the thoughts out of my head … When I tried to explain what was going on to my girlfriend, I couldn’t find a way of articulating what was happening to me … At the time, I thought OCD was all about triple-checking you had locked the front door and that your drawers were tidy.ĭespite the prevalence of OCD in contemporary society, the experiences of Matt and John reflect two important features of this disorder. Every time he crossed the road, John thought: “What would happen if I stopped moving and was run over by a bus?” He also had thoughts of murdering those he loved. In this series, we investigate what’s causing this crisis, and report on the latest research to improve people’s mental health at all stages of life.Ī similar experience is recounted in the 2011 book Taking Control of OCD by John (not his real name) who, after a colleague had taken their own life, became “inundated with thoughts” about what he might do to himself. Across the world, we’re seeing unprecedented levels of mental illness at all ages, from children to the very old – with huge costs to families, communities and economies.
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